Lenten Discipline or Lenten Discipleship?

Lent will soon be upon us - the penitential season of "giving things up" that begins on Ash Wednesday - March 9th this year - and extends to Holy Saturday (the day before Easter).  That's 40 days, not counting the Sundays. 

Why would anyone bother to do such a thing?  Well, Lent is a season for self examination, self discipline, and self denial as we prepare for Holy Week, that intensive scrutiny of Jesus' suffering and death, followed by the unexpected joy of his resurrection on Easter.  Holy Week and Easter are the absolute pinnacle of Christian religious observances, and warrant careful preparation.  


People often give up candy & sweets, chocolate, deserts, wine, a weekly meal, coffee, television, or similar pleasures during Lent.  But the manner in which many folk choose and follow their "Lenten Discipline" often misses the purpose of the exercise.  "Giving up" something for Lent isn't primarily about punishing ourselves, even though that's how many people view it.  There is no inherent virtue in denying ourselves, and we run the risk of becoming proud and self-sufficient, as English spiritual writer and mystic William Law (1686-1761) points out: 

Many people not only lose the benefit, but are even the worse for their mortifications [i.e., sacrifices, abstensions], ... because they mistake the whole nature and worth of them: they practice them for their own sakes, as things good in themselves, they think them to be real parts of holiness, and so rest in them and look no further, but grow full of a self-esteem and self-admiration for their own progress in them. This makes them self-sufficient, morose, severe judges of all those that fall short of their mortifications. And thus their self-denials do only that for them which indulgences do for other people: they withstand and hinder the operation of God upon their souls, and instead of being really self-denials, they strengthen and keep up the kingdom of self.

So, done wrong, "giving up" something for Lent can actually move us AWAY from the Kingdom of God and TOWARD the kingdom of self.  Yikes!


We'll have better results from "giving up" something for Lent if we keep in mind that our Lenten discipline is meant to improve our discipleship.  Whatever you choose to give up should encourage your discipleship - your life in Christ.  If you take something away, it needs to somehow add to your relationship with Jesus.  


Giving up television or skipping a meal clearly leaves additional time in your day that you could spend in Bible reading or prayer or meditation.  But what about something like giving up candy?  That's not really going to gain you any time in your day - unless you have a serious candy-eating problem!  However, every time you notice that you're yearning for the candy-coated, chocolaty, sweet deliciousness of an MnM (for example), you can use that as a reminder to turn you heart and mind to the Lord in prayer. 


That is where denying ourselves will improve discipleship: by adding reminders (with every hunger pang or craving) to turn to God.   Of course, we can add discipleship without giving up specific things.  You can add the discipline of daily prayer or study or Bible reading, etc., without also skipping the candy.  


I haven't decided my Lenten discipline yet for this year - whether or not I'll be giving up anything, and what discipleship endeavor I'll be adding.  I'd love to hear whether you observe the season of Lent, and what discipline you'll be taking on.  Please post your comments!  

Rock Tumbler, part 2: Rocks vs. Tomatoes

I've been thinking more about the rock tumbler (see my previous post from 2/12/11), and I feel I need to offer a bit more clarification.  Taking a spin in the rock tumbler, and coming out smoother and more polished, is something we do with our fellow Christ-followers.  Its a thing that will work when we are in relationship with people whose ultimate good intentions we trust, despite the rough edges and sharp corners we may encounter.

The rock tumbler works in Christian community because we are all made of similar "stuff."  We are all children of God, followers of Jesus, and in-dwelt by the Holy Spirit.  That identity makes us intrinsically different from others - as different in substance as a rock and a tomato.    

Here's a little thought experiment to consider.  What do you think would happen if you put a handful of tomatoes and a handful of rough, un-tumbled rocks into a rock tumbler?  With each turn of the drum, the rough patches and jagged edges of the rocks would  tear at the tomato's skin.  And with each subsequent revolution, the hard density of the rocks would bruise and then pulverize the soft fleshy tomatoes.

After a while, you'd have rough jagged rocks coated in tomato sauce!  The rocks are not improved, and the poor tomatoes have been destroyed.  Not a pretty picture, to be sure.  And even well-smoothed rocks will eventually pulverize tomatoes into sauce.

My purpose in considering this imaginary conflict between rock and tomato, is to point out that we need to know who we're dealing with when we encounter difficult people and are in conflict with others.  I want to make clear that I am NOT advising to stay in conflict with anyone and everyone, but only with our fellow Christians who are made of similar stuff as ourselves.

In unequal conflict, sometimes we are the rock.  As a rock, I do not want to be making sauce out of the very tomatoes that I hope might be rocks one day!   On the other hand, sometimes we feel like the tomato - receiving cuts and crushing treatment from people of ill-intent.  To submit to such treatment from people who do not ultimately wish us well, does not serve to improve either us or them.

So wisdom and discernment is required.  Tumble with your fellow rocks, but watch out for the tomatoes!

Rock Tumbler

We bought a rock tumbler some years ago.  You take a handful of rough, un-lovely rocks and put them into the tumbler with some water and grit, and let them tumble.  After a week or two when you open up the tumbler, you'll find smoothed and polished stones, suitably beautiful for use in jewelry and craft projects.  The jagged edges are smoothed, the rough surfaces are polished, and the color and pattern of the substance of the rock is revealed.  The transformation is quite amazing!

Rough, jagged rocks.

The rock-tumbler process is just a concentrated version of what happens in the wilds of nature, in rushing mountain streams.  The rushing water carries fine sand and grit that continually strike against the rocks and pebbles in the stream bed.  From time to time, the force of the rushing water will move a rock, striking its neighbors with a resounding "clunk."  And after thousands of years of this sort of action, you wind up with beautifully smooth rocks and pebbles that are just a delight to touch!

Smooth stones after stream tumbling.

All this tumbling reminds me of what its like living in Christian community.  We are all stones and pebbles of varying shapes and sizes.  Like grit and sand, the small irritations that are part of life  continually bombard us.  Learning to respond gracefully to those irritations smooths our rough places.  But its when we knock into each other that the more serious reshaping takes place - when a jagged corner here or a sharp edge there get knocked off.  


Persevering in difficult relationships is a great source of growth!  I know because recently I've been experiencing it first hand.  By stepping back and removing ourselves from relationships that seem to be less than fulfilling, we cheat not only ourselves, but also the other person of the opportunity for growth and refining - of the chance to spin a few rounds in the rock tumbler together.  If our difficulties and conflicts are lubricated by the water of the Holy Spirit, everyone comes out smoother.  And with the increasing smoothness and polish, our true nature  as children of God becomes more and more apparent and visible.

Before & After

If there is a Christ-follower you have taken to avoiding because of conflict or difficulties between you, perhaps you might reconsider and re-engage with them.  The "rock tumbler" is by no means an instant process, but in the long run, you both are likely to be better for making the effort!


Proverbs says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another." (Proverbs 27:17)  But I tell you this, "As one stone strikes against another, so one person smooths and polishes another."  Get out there and get tumbling!

Stiff-necked People

We got 10 inches of wet, heavy snow on Wednesday night.  It fell quickly, creating a nightmare commute for thousands of people heading home just as snow was falling fast and furious.  But it also created a beautiful, snow-frosted world.  The wet snow clung to trees and shrubs and powerlines and signs: it covered everything - so beautiful!  The weight of the snow took a toll, though.

My trees used to look a lot like these.

My bent and broken trees!

In front of my house, we have a hedge of Arbor Vitae trees.   Perhaps I should say we "had" a hedge of Arbor Vitae trees.  All that wet heavy snow clung to their evergreen leaves, and bent the poor dears over so far their "heads" were touching the snow!  Some couldn't take the weight and snapped.  I spent Thursday morning shaking snow off of the bent trunks, hoping they might recover eventually.

Driving around later, I noticed how all the plants of every sort were either bent or broken by the heavy snow.  Those that were stiffer snapped, but those with more supple trunks or branches merely bent.  All those bent-over trees and plants seemed to be in a posture of prayer.  And I got to thinking about people...

Throughout the Old Testament, God's people Israel are referred to as "stiff-necked people."  “'I have seen these people,' the LORD said to Moses, 'and they are a stiff-necked people.'" (Exodus 32:9)  They are rebellious and refuse to obey God or trust God.  They are stubborn in their sinfulness.  Does that remind you of anyone you know?  Yourself, perhaps?  I know I am more stiff-necked than I wish.  The less attentive I am to God, the more stiff-necked I seem to become!  And being stiff-necked is a problem.  Remember my poor trees...

When a weight of troubles descend, we will either bend or break under them, depending on our relationship with God.  The yielding and obedient - those who strive to love the Lord their God with all their heart and mind and soul - can bend.  In fact, they willingly bend in prayer and thanksgiving to God.  Because even in the most extreme and difficult of circumstances, we can always thank God that he loves us no matter what.

The stiff-necked, however, will break.  The stiff-necked turn away from God and try to handle things themselves, their own way, apart from God.  And sooner or later the load becomes too great to bear, and they snap.

Of course, at the end of time, we all must bow to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  All people - those who are Christ followers, and those who are not - will be faced with the weighty truth that Jesus Christ is Lord.  Will you be among the bent or among the broken on that day?

At the name of Jesus every knee should bow, 

   in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 

and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, 

   to the glory of God the Father.  -Philippians 2:10-11

Keeping in Touch

I had vivid dreams this morning – you know those really bizarre ones that you wake up trying to make sense of, even as you scratch your head thinking “where the heck did THAT come from?”  Some dream scenes I remember: “The Office” characters putting on an elaborate party for me (including the gift of a tiny diorama); then the party wound up at a beach-like location and we were swimming; then there were obstacles and a competition much like the big balls in “Winter Wipeout”; then I was at church and had just spent a bunch of time cleaning up and arranging the church social hall for some event, only to have someone else swoop in and decide to rearrange my efforts.  Just your typically weird dream sequences….

alone in a crowd?

But the strangest part – if you can believe anything might be stranger than those dreams! – was that I woke with not just the crazy dream scenes in mind, but this sentence as well: “Why am I so lonely when there are people all around me?” 

The words were extraordinarily vivid – unforgettable.  But oddly, the idea of loneliness was not related to the goofy dreams.  I suppose that’s the reason the words were so striking.  “Why am I so lonely when there are people all around me?”  What is that supposed to mean?

So I’ve been thinking about those words today, scratching my head and trying to figure out where the heck THAT came from.  I haven’t been noticeably lonely of late.  I’m strongly introverted, so it doesn’t take much interaction with people to meet my social needs.  I also have a handful of close personal relationships wherein I know and am known.  If I’m not lonely for people, then who am I lonely for?

Aha!  I am lonely for God!  When personal relationship with God is missing, you can find yourself lonely even in the midst of the most satisfying relationships with other people.  When quiet time to pray and meditate and simply “be,” consciously aware of existing in the presence of God, when that time gets pushed aside, a dissatisfied loneliness creeps into your heart. 

If you have known intimacy with God, then you might figure out what’s going on.  As soon as I realized those vivid words could only be speaking of a loneliness for God, then I immediately recalled that I have been remiss in finding quiet time with God these past couple of weeks.  And because the weeks before that had felt very close to our Father, why should I feel anything other than loneliness at His absence?

Of course, God is always with us, so it’s not like God went anywhere.  It’s sort of like two people going out for a lunch date, and one person winds up sitting and waiting while the other person takes call after call on their cell phone, turns aside to greet a passing acquaintance, wanders off to track down a waiter, checks email on the Blackberry, etc., etc.  God is the one patiently waiting for our attention to return to him. 

If you’ve never had an intimate relationship with God, then you may not even know what’s wrong.  The vague sense that something is missing goes unsatisfied by the things of the world with which you try to satisfy yourself.  “Why am I so lonely when there are people all around me?” you think.  The loneliness is a lack of God - and only God will satisfy.

And with that said, I simply must stop writing for you now - I miss God!  I’m going to log off and spend some time in God’s presence – praying, reading scripture, pondering the amazing truth that God could have any interest whatever in hearing from little ol’ me – astounding….  

Frankly, My Dear...

I’ve always loved “Gone with the Wind.”   It’s an amazing movie and a great story.  I love watching Scarlet’s antics, and for as many times as I’ve seen the story, I still find myself urging her to get over her foolish infatuation with Ashley and to see Rhett for the good and desirable man that he is.  And I am always disturbed that when she FINALLY can see Rhett for who he is – when she finally realizes that he’s the man she should have been pursuing all along – it’s then that Rhett has had enough.  

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

Just when Scarlet finally realizes she loves him, Rhett no longer cares – he no longer loves her, his patience has run out, her callous disregard has hurt his heart one too many times.  "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."   It just kills me every time.

I realized that our romance with God has much in common with the story of Scarlett and Rhett.  We, fickle people, are like Scarlett.  We run after all sorts of inappropriate lovers, sometimes for reasons we think are love, sometimes for purely self-serving motives to keep pain (or the bill-collector) at bay. 

We have our Charles Hamiltons that we use to mask our disappointments and keep our desired lover close.  We have our Frank Kennedys that we cling to for expediency – for support, for money, to keep us out of the poor house.  And of course we have our Ashley Wilkes, the lover we place on a pedestal, the one we long for most earnestly, and yet who is so dreadfully wrong for us.  These mis-guided loves represent all the idols we chase after in life: power, money, sex, status – you name it!

And all the while we’re chasing about after these other lovers, Rhett Butler – God – is pursuing us.  Gently.  Patiently.  Biding His time.  Laughing at our foolishness and loving us anyway.  Confident that eventually we’ll come to our senses, that eventually we’ll realize our folly and turn to Him at last. 

The notable difference, of course, is that God, unlike Rhett, will never give up on us.  Rhett is just a man, after all, and reaches a point where the continued hurt and rejection is just too painful to bear.  But there is NOTHING we can do to alienate God.  No matter how misguided, how foolish, how selfish, how hurtful we behave toward God, He is always there waiting for us to finally figure out that He’s the one we should have been pursuing all along.:

All day long I have held out my hands 
   to an obstinate people, 
who walk in ways not good, 
   pursuing their own imaginations— 

                                         (Isaiah 65:2)

To consider the amount of hurt and pain that God must surely endure in order to wait for us to quit our foolish infatuations and turn to Him at last – well, I find it quite astonishing.  Even the extraordinary Rhett Butler reached the end of his patience, but not God.  Think about it!

Where Two or Three are Gathered

St. Peter's, Purcellville:
decorated for Christmas

During Advent, I was leading a Morning Prayer service on Wednesday mornings.  At first it was just me, then one person joined me, then another, but this past week (the last service for the time being) it was back to just me again.  And whether I was the only one present, or whether there were others, I read through the service, aloud, each time I was there.  I noticed that even though the number of worshipers was small every time, there was a distinct difference in the feel of the service as soon as it was more than just me alone. 

That’s because something special happens when God’s people gather in His name, even if the number is quite small.  St. John Chrysostom puts his finger on it in the prayer attributed to him that comes at the end of the MP service.  “you have promised through your well-beloved Son that when two or three are gathered together in his Name you will be in the midst of them”   (from Matthew 18:20) 

When we are alone, God is in us: as faithful believers, we have been given the Holy Spirit (John 14:17), and more than that, we have Jesus abiding in us, and through him the Father also. (John 14:20).  So when we are alone and speak to God, we speak to God as dwelling within us.  That is personal prayer and relationship with God, and an important part of our lives as Christians.

But what happens when “two or three gather in His name”?  There He is, in the midst of us!  God is no longer only within, but also among and between!  God “with” us.  And the presence of God in the midst of us will change everything.  The presence of God among us converts our private prayer into corporate worship – even if the time and place and form and everything else is the same (as it was for my variously attended Morning Prayer services). 

And we need to participate in corporate worship.  It is the joyful duty of God’s people to come together with God in their midst to worship.  Anyone who thinks they can “worship on the golf course” instead of attending corporate worship, doesn’t know what they are talking about.  Gathering regularly with others for worship is a cornerstone of faith and one of the simple ancient disciplines of living the Christian life.  We worship weekly, joining with God’s people in God’s presence to offer Father, Son and Holy Spirit all the glory, awe and love they inspire in us.  

If you consider yourself a Christian, yet don’t feel any need to gather with others to offer loving praise to God, then perhaps you need to reconsider your faith.  Perhaps you need to reexamine the nature of the god you believe in.  Because if the god you believe in does not inspire such love and awe in you that you want to gather with others to shout it out, then perhaps it is not God himself that you believe in, but some shadowy imposter - a mere idol.  

Find a church and go find out who God really is.  God will be there with those who gather - you can count on it!

I AM with You Always!

While meditating on scripture, the Lord granted me images of His tender and loving care of us during the course of our lives.  I pray that it fills you with peace and joy, and feeds your hungry soul!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The LORD your God is with you, 

   he is mighty to save. 

He will take great delight in you, 

   he will quiet you with his love, 

   he will rejoice over you with singing. 

                        Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV 1984) 

"I AM the Lord your God, and I AM with you always!

"I AM with you as a mother with a newborn babe.  I hold you and delight in your existence, rejoicing over you for no other reason than that you “are.”  Nothing, no action on your part, is needed to inspire My love!

"I AM with you as a parent with a young child, delighting in your childish exuberance to learn and discover My creation, quieting your fears, singing at the joy in your being.

"I AM with you as the father of a young woman preparing to wed – delighting to see you love and to transform from child to adult, quieting your unease at the changes that loom before you with the sure knowledge of My own love of you, and rejoicing for the person you have become.

"I AM with you as the bridegroom with his bride.  The beauty of your spirit and the depth of your love for Me are My great delight .  In your uncertainty at how to love in this new way, I sooth you with strength of My own love.  I rejoice at our union.

"I AM with you as a friend of your heart.  I delight when you trust to share with Me both the trials and joys of your life.  I take your hand to ease your sorrows with My quiet presence, I take your hand and sing with you in your joy.

"I AM with you as a comrade, to encourage you in times of failure.  I delight in your desire to press on, to try, to hope – even against all odds.  I am with you to supply the quiet confidence of My loving support, even in the face of your great distress and sorrow.  I rejoice that even in failure, you shall learn and grow.

"I AM with you as a loving care-giver at the end of life.  Each line and wrinkle, each scar and healed wound, remind Me of the whole of your life and the person you have become.  I quiet your heart with the sure knowledge of the time soon to come, and rejoice that you will soon be with Me more fully.

"I AM with you as one who mourns.  In quiet love, I tenderly prepare and anoint your body for the grave.  My great delight is that you were.  My greater rejoicing is that you will yet be…

"I AM with you as both Judge and Advocate, calling for a reckoning of your sins and short-comings, even as I show you how all those deficiencies shall be made right in My eyes.  I delight that you have chosen My Way, My Truth, My Life, so that  My loving sacrifice may be the quiet confidence of your soul.  Your salvation is My joy and My song!

"I AM the Lord your God, and I AM with you!"

Advent: Not Christmas "Lite"

Last night, St. Peter’s church had their annual service of Advent Lessons and Carols.  The choir did a phenomenal job, and I was glad I made the effort to venture back out into the cold, dark evening for a second church service.  As I was appreciating the choir’s anthems, pondering the readings, and singing the selected hymns with great pleasure, I was struck by how much rich content is missed by Christians who celebrate Advent as merely the season of “Christmas Lite.”

By “Christmas Lite,” I mean a time that focuses solely on the coming celebration of Jesus’ birthday, accompanied by the rapid unfurling of all things Christmas.  There seems to be so much pressure to deliver so much Christmas-centered content that it’s too much to fit it all in on, or even close to,  Christmas Eve. Christmas carols and anthems show up right after Thanksgiving and full-blown Christmas decorations appear in the worship space.  I’ve even heard of parishioners complaining to the pastor if the Christmas carols aren’t trotted out at the beginning of Advent.  Sadly, it’s simply a reflection of sentimental secular Christmas preparations creeping into the Church.

But that sort of Advent observance misses the whole point of the season.  Advent is not about preparing for your Christmas observances – it’s not about figuring out the best way to honor Jesus’ birthday.  Advent is about remembering who we are as the people of God, remembering the promises God made to comfort and care for His people, promises to reconcile us to Himself and make right all the things between us where we’ve gone wrong.  It’s remembering God’s promises to send a Savior, a Messiah, an Anointed One. 

And with the vision of a promised Savior freshly in mind, the birth of a baby to unremarkable parents in humble circumstances in a backwater of the Roman Empire doesn’t at first seem to fit our expectations.  Our Advent ponderings add so much depth and significance to what might otherwise become merely a poignant remembrance of a poor baby born in a stable.  Advent sets the stage for our Christmas joy at finding God work, yet again, in startling ways that fulfill our needs beyond what we could ask or imagine ourselves. 

See, the Sovereign LORD comes with power,
   and he rules with a mighty arm.
See, his reward is with him,
   and his recompense accompanies him. -Isaiah 40:10

May your Advent preparations serve to fill your heart with overflowing joy and wonder at the loving care and provision so unexpectedly  provided to us by our Creator, the One God, who is Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen!

* * * * *

Gordon Conwell Seminary is providing daily emailed Advent devotional prepared by their faculty.  It's just one of many great ways to keep yourself oriented to appropriate preparations during Advent.  Click here to go to their website and sign up.

Never Give Up (Pray Continually!)

In January it will be two years since my maternal grandmother died.  She was the only grandmother I really knew, and she had an important place in my childhood and youth.  All I have left to remind me of her (besides my fond memories) are a handful of old snapshots and a rather large jade ring.

The ring doesn’t look like it was expensive, just a ¾-inch oval of unremarkable jade, in a 4-prong setting with some cutout swirls and leaf appliqués decorating the sides.  While charming in its simple way, it’s not a piece of jewelry that speaks pure beauty and pleasure to my soul in the way some other jewelry can.  When it was offered to me, I took it as something to remember my grandmother by, not because of the ring’s inherent appeal.

Granny's ring on my ring finger!

That changed last week.  The ring didn’t used to fit my ring finger, and I had to use a thick guard to keep it on my pinky.  I wore it like that a few times, and then set it aside.  Tuesday morning, though, I was inspired to wear it and to my great pleasure, found that (because I had lost some weight) I could wear it on my ring finger!  Being able to slide that ring onto my now slimmer finger was a gift in and of itself.  But as I looked at the ring on my hand, I remembered my grandmother and heard in my mind the words “never give up.” 

“Never give up.”  The last time I saw my grandmother, she’d had a stroke or attack of some sort, and was in the hospital, unable to speak.  So I spoke for both of us, chatting on about family and circumstances.  I watched her eyes as I spoke to her.  I don’t think I’d ever looked at them as intently as I did during that visit.  Even though she obviously couldn’t speak, I could see in her eyes that she was still “in there,” still present, still understanding my presence if not my words.  She had not given up.

“Never give up.”  Those were certainly words I need to hear these days.  It’s been a tempestuous couple of months, filled with a wide range of challenging circumstances, difficult people, and reminders that God has called me to do something which I haven’t fully responded to yet. 

“Never give up.”  During the day, each time I happened to catch sight of my hand and that ring, “never give up” came to mind.  It felt like God’s Spirit whispering to my heart in the guise of my grandmother:  “Never give up.  Remember how she held on, even to the end, even when she couldn’t speak!  You are strong and in the prime of life – how can you do less than she?  There are things only you can do.  Never give up!”

When I first came to faith, I decided that washing my hands was a good reminder to turn my heart to the Lord in prayer.  The warm water on my fingers reminded me of the warm love of our Lord, and I made it my habit to pray at least briefly.  Now I find that I have a new reminder to turn to God: my grandmother’s jade ring.  I expect to be wearing it more often, and I intend to let it be a reminder to me of the simple, ancient discipline of prayer, a reminder of turning my heart and mind to Jesus and remembering the abundant goodness that God grants us at all times and in even the most difficult circumstances.  A reminder as well to never give up...

I encourage you be on the lookout for the reminders God is providing to you to help remember to turn to Him in prayer.

 "Pray Continually"

   -1 Thessalonians 5:17