Fire and Ash

On sunny days at certain seasons, rays of sunlight will pass through the stained glass windows behind the altar of St. Peter's Church and land in columns of color on the wall during the worship service.  I love gazing at the stripes of gemstone colors - something beautiful on which to fix my eyes while singing or listening or praying.

Last week the effect was particularly striking, and one patch of color gathered up the reds and cast upon the wall  a slender tongue of flame some three feet tall.  It was stunningly beautiful, and my first thought was of the tongues of flame at Pentecost.  "They saw what seemed to be tongues of fire that separated and came to rest on each of them." (Acts 2:3)  I kept hoping that the priest or an acolyte or somebody would walk between me and that tongue of flame, so that it would look like fire had come to rest on them.  Alas, I was disappointed, and after 10 or 15 minutes the position of the sun changed and the fire was gone except in memory.

But it has proved a potent memory, one I keep going back to, perhaps because Ash Wednesday is nearly upon us.  In the Ash Wednesday liturgy, we are reminded that we are formed from dust, and ashes are marked on the forehead with the words, "remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."  The contrast of fire and ash is so very rich...

The creation story in Genesis tells how God created Adam from the dust of the earth.  God formed Adam, but he was not alive until God breathed into him the spark of life.  What's the different between "ash" and "Adam?" The difference is the presence of "Life" - God's holy fire, the spark the makes the difference between a dead sculpture and a living human being.

Ordinary fire consumes.  Fuel is required to maintain the blaze, and when the fuel runs out, the fire goes out, leaving nothing but charred, dead ash.  God's fire, however, burns without consuming, without destroying, like the time when God appeared to Moses in a burning bush.  "There the angel of the LORD appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up." (Exodus 3:2)

Our passions are often described as fire, and its in our passions that the difference between natural fire and God's Holy fire is, I think, most evident.  Natural passions consume us.  They must be fed or they die, burning us up (and burning us out) in the process!  How many lives have been ruined trying to maintain a passion at all costs?   Charlie Sheen is in the headlines now for the flaming wreck he's made of his life by pursuing his various "passions."  But how many others have burned themselves up away from the public eye, pursuing more "noble" passions of career, children, hobby, wealth, beauty, health, and on and on and on.

The passions God gives us - the ones that are focused on God, motivated by God's love of us, fueled by awe of Him - those passions will set us ablaze without being consumed.  Much like Jesus at the Transfiguration, God's light will shine forth from us like spiritual fire, giving light and life to those around us.  And not a hair on our heads will be so much as singed in the process!  

What passions do you burn with?  Do they consume you, using you up, leaving a pile of dead ashes?  Or do they fill you with the life of God, burning but no consumed, fueled by God's powerful love?  Lent is a great time to take a look at your life and your passions, see what gives light and life, and what merely consumes, and consider whether changes are in order.

"I invite you, therefore, ... to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God's holy Word."  (BCP, p. 265)

Lenten Discipline or Lenten Discipleship?

Lent will soon be upon us - the penitential season of "giving things up" that begins on Ash Wednesday - March 9th this year - and extends to Holy Saturday (the day before Easter).  That's 40 days, not counting the Sundays. 

Why would anyone bother to do such a thing?  Well, Lent is a season for self examination, self discipline, and self denial as we prepare for Holy Week, that intensive scrutiny of Jesus' suffering and death, followed by the unexpected joy of his resurrection on Easter.  Holy Week and Easter are the absolute pinnacle of Christian religious observances, and warrant careful preparation.  


People often give up candy & sweets, chocolate, deserts, wine, a weekly meal, coffee, television, or similar pleasures during Lent.  But the manner in which many folk choose and follow their "Lenten Discipline" often misses the purpose of the exercise.  "Giving up" something for Lent isn't primarily about punishing ourselves, even though that's how many people view it.  There is no inherent virtue in denying ourselves, and we run the risk of becoming proud and self-sufficient, as English spiritual writer and mystic William Law (1686-1761) points out: 

Many people not only lose the benefit, but are even the worse for their mortifications [i.e., sacrifices, abstensions], ... because they mistake the whole nature and worth of them: they practice them for their own sakes, as things good in themselves, they think them to be real parts of holiness, and so rest in them and look no further, but grow full of a self-esteem and self-admiration for their own progress in them. This makes them self-sufficient, morose, severe judges of all those that fall short of their mortifications. And thus their self-denials do only that for them which indulgences do for other people: they withstand and hinder the operation of God upon their souls, and instead of being really self-denials, they strengthen and keep up the kingdom of self.

So, done wrong, "giving up" something for Lent can actually move us AWAY from the Kingdom of God and TOWARD the kingdom of self.  Yikes!


We'll have better results from "giving up" something for Lent if we keep in mind that our Lenten discipline is meant to improve our discipleship.  Whatever you choose to give up should encourage your discipleship - your life in Christ.  If you take something away, it needs to somehow add to your relationship with Jesus.  


Giving up television or skipping a meal clearly leaves additional time in your day that you could spend in Bible reading or prayer or meditation.  But what about something like giving up candy?  That's not really going to gain you any time in your day - unless you have a serious candy-eating problem!  However, every time you notice that you're yearning for the candy-coated, chocolaty, sweet deliciousness of an MnM (for example), you can use that as a reminder to turn you heart and mind to the Lord in prayer. 


That is where denying ourselves will improve discipleship: by adding reminders (with every hunger pang or craving) to turn to God.   Of course, we can add discipleship without giving up specific things.  You can add the discipline of daily prayer or study or Bible reading, etc., without also skipping the candy.  


I haven't decided my Lenten discipline yet for this year - whether or not I'll be giving up anything, and what discipleship endeavor I'll be adding.  I'd love to hear whether you observe the season of Lent, and what discipline you'll be taking on.  Please post your comments!