The King-Sized Bed Effect

My husband and I recently took a lovely vacation on Ocracoke Island, NC.  We rented a tiny but adorable little house, and its one and only bed happens to be a king-sized bed.  Hubby and I have spent the last 24 years sleeping in a queen-sized bed, so I was looking forward to the spacious treat of a really big bed, even in a tiny house.

What I discovered though, was that that large bed felt rather TOO large.  We naturally spread farther apart when we laid down, and I found that when I reached my hand out to tuck it under hubby's torso as I often do, he was no longer in easy reach!  It really was more like sleeping alone than with someone, what with all that real estate between us and the wider sheets and blankets, too.

Thinking about our experience with the big bed got me to thinking about other things that come with so much space.  First and foremost, we don't have to put up with each other!  Blanket hogging, tossing and turning, snoring, coughing, one reading in bed when the other is trying to sleep - these are all things hubby and I have learned to tolerate (and even love and appreciate) in one another.  But we've only learned to do so by staying close; as the bed gets wider, the amount of tolerance needed decreases.

Similarly with living in large houses: how does one learn to tolerate the irritating habits of those with whom they live, if they are so far apart that they don't HAVE to learn to tolerate?  According to US Census data, the average square footage of single family homes in the northeastern US increased from about 1,600 to about 2,600 square feet since the 1970s.  That's a 1,000 square foot increase, or about two-thirds larger!  Ironically, average household size has been decreasing during that time!

What we found in the big bed is surely also true of the big house: when more space is available, people will naturally spread apart.  The farther apart we are, the less we use our "tolerance-muscles."  Our character gets weak and flabby, and we lose both tolerance AND intimacy with others.

Is it any wonder, then, that Christianity in the US seems to be waning in many places?  We who want our personal space and have limited tolerance for others being "too close" would naturally also find it difficult to embrace a Lord who lives WITHIN us, as close as our very breath.  Or to live closely in a tight knit Christian community as the body of Christ - not just occupying the same room on a Sunday morning, but knit together into a single community.

Galatians 4:1-7

I say it's time to down-size!  Where in your relationships do you have "too much space"?  Is it between you and your spouse?  Or perhaps a sibling?  Maybe it's with a friend or someone in your church fellowship.  Find some small way to begin drawing that person closer.

Or maybe...  maybe... it's between you and God that there is too much space.  God may seem a world away, but God is always as close as your breath - just a prayer away from your heart.  Pray now for God to grant you the tolerance to let Him live closer to your heart.